Wedding Dream #4

Well, I had to open my big fat mouth yesterday and say it had been nearly a week since I performed wacky nuptuals in my sleep. Jinxed much? Here was last night's dream...

We were in a run down house, I think it was mine and in the run down bedroom of said house. Some random, white trash-ish people who were my family (but not my family, because the real ones aren't white trash)were seated in the room - probably 15 or so people. My mom was officiating (at least I can get SOME details straight) and Jake and I were getting married. He was in a dark suit and to begin with, I don't know what I was wearing...but soon it was the part of the ceremony where I was to put a furry sweater of mine on him (wait, WHAT? This is not standard wedding ceremony affair?!). He wasn't thrilled about it, but went for it...then I looked again and he had stripped down to boxers...and before I knew it I was in my skivies too! But then I looked and he was dressed, but I was still in my skivies! This was a WEE bit embarrassing and we fell on the bed laughing. At this point I remembered I didn't have the marriage license, and my mom said we should just finish the ceremony and worry about it later.


And what does this mean? Not even going to try to guess.

Wedding Dream #3

Ok, so the wedding dreams had kind of waned. I feel better now that we have a venue, a DJ, and a photographer. I feel like I have a handle on this wedding and that makes me feel a little better. And then we were doing some calculating and figured that next Tuesday, it is eight months until our wedding...eight months seems so close, when eight months has NEVER seemed close. So once again I make the fatal mistake of falling asleep and the story plays out as such...

In my dream I was eight months from my wedding and wasn't feeling so hot- and only a lemon-y something made me feel better. In my dream this prompted me to pee on a stick and low and behold...plus sign. Now I can't say I was disappointed - baby talk has accompanied wedding talk from time to time. But I kept thinking how this was going to mess up the wedding. Deposits have been made, people are starting to make plans. I knew that in 8 months I wouldn't just have a cute little bump - I would be a swollen, possibly sweaty boat of a person. I mean, I'm worried about losing weight for the day already, but 8 months pregnant?! I just couldn't believe that would be cute. I started thinking that now I knew I could easily get pregnant, maybe I could just abort this ONE and start over after the wedding. Seriously, I was considering an abortion for one day. Inner Bridezilla coming out much? Could I possibly be placing more importance on this day than I'm admitting to anyone, including myself? Nah, I'm probably just feeling bloated.

Anyways, entertaining as it is that it came out in this way, that was the latest of my dreams. I'm now on the dream wagon for ALMOST a week. I'm almost curious what else will come out in the heat of the night as this day draws closer.

Popping Sarah's BM Cherry

Ok, that title has the ability to elicit a giggle from someone as immature as me...anywho - my cousin Sarah is one of my bridesmaids and it has come to my attention that this is her first time. She is excited (bless her little heart!) and I just had to make note of it. She called me the other day and was asking if there was anything she could do and told me she wanted to do her job and be there for me emotionally, physically and however I needed her. What she maybe doesn't fully get is that I picked her and Ali and Geneen, not hoping that they would step up to be there for me in all ways that they can, but because they always have been. I picked three girls who have consistently gone above and beyond for me - hopefully they know how important that has been to me.
And on another note...I am NOT a fan of being in other people's weddings - I have enjoyed it every time and love all the girls who I've stood up for, but it's like a group project in the fifth grade and there are pictures to prove it forever. So Sarah, I'm glad you're excited...say good-bye to your bridesmaid virginity and I hope it doesn't hurt too much:)

Wedding Dream #2

So I'm really at a loss as to whether to label the nocturnal adventures as dreams or nightmares. I don't necessarily feel fear in them, nor do things fall apart to a point of no return. They are in the ComDram genre, if I had to chose a genre for my subconscious.
So wedding dream number two again focused on the dress (because seriously? I haven't decided to work out the fact that I will have 150 people watch me walk down a huge flight of concrete stairs?!) and it went...weird. My wedding was in a restaurant attached to a mall. I ran from the celebration INTO the mall and started picking up wedding dresses that I love...5 at least. I started trying them on, loving them, and then they would turn from white to colored. Not one color that I could easily interpret, but multi-colored. I just wanted one to stay white (although I see the irony of my wearing white on my wedding day)...and that's where it ended. Perhaps after my first dress appointment (yes, wedding dress shopping apparently shares the same scheduling requirements as a root canal - please god, don't let that be telling of the experience!) my brain will have this part worked out.

Cinderella got a palace, but I could fill it up

Sound the alarm - I have found a wedding planning detail that doesn't stress me out! In fact, I love it, RELISH it even. Registering...I've been doing it online and having SO much fun. I get to curl up on the couch, and imagine all the things I love and couldn't afford after 10 years of saving. I know it sounds greedy and that I've become so connected to the "things" related to a day that should be about our love. But whatever...we love each other either way, but it is exciting knowing that we will be showered with things that we handpick. And to make it sound a little better...these things will symbolize the day we celebrated how we feel with everyone...AND IT'S AWESOME STUFF:)
On another defensive note, most of this stuff makes me feel like a "wife." It's horribly sexist and antiquated, but wives have tea sets, and matching dishes, and appliances that don't come from the drug store. And wives have STANDING MIXERS! Seriously, my dreams of wedded bliss have included a standing mixer for as long as I can remember. Since cooking shows didn't have their own network. Since I thought weddings actually included glass slippers (hmmm, how would those go over on the stairs?)
So, good news - I've found some pure joy in the wedding planning process. Bad news - it's selfish and materialistic. Guess what, I'm not going to feel too bad.

Wedding Dream #1

I am highly creative...and one thing I can create like a champ is stress. And my vivid imagination pairs up with the backlog of stress to create some pretty entertaining dreams - and my first wedding dream was a doozy!
So the first dream was 3 weeks into my engagement, where I was feeling a little stressed due to the fact that most of my wedding magazines had to-dos for months 16 to 12 before the wedding, and I wasn't ever going to have a month 16 to 12 considering our engagement turned out to give us roughly 9 total months of planning.
I started out arriving at a rustic lodge in a small out of the way town...apparently my subconscious' choice of venue. I didn't have a dress yet, so I stopped at a small shop and picked one up, uncertain if it would even fit. It fit fairly well to my amazement. I was walking through a bathroom and the back of that well-fitting dress somehow ended up in a toilet...clogged with the more solid of human wastes. It was all over the train of my dress. I went outside and saw all sorts of guests and walked around in my dirty dress until I realized I wasn't close to ready and shouldn't be seen by my guests yet. I headed back inside and realized that my hair had not grown any AND I hadn't yet told my hairdresser about the wedding...I was at a loss as to what I would do with my hair. I also attempted to put on two different kinds of make-up and both kinds turned into a cracking dark masks on my face. I tried to go down to the front desk to get an iron since my slightly soiled dress also happened to be wrinkled. She was rude and although she had one, I somehow was not asking in whatever manner would cause her to hand it over. Then I was standing at the door waiting to walk down the aisle...I just had to walk out, turn a corner and go down the aisle...but I remembered I hadn't yet talked to a florist. An old man handed me flowers out of a vase and as I looked down at my dress that had somehow turned black, I realized I hadn't picked shoes...so I had to wear work shoes (and go figure, my logical mind thought "at least I can wear these again"). I walked out the door, met up with my dad and looked down to realize I was wearing a bulky rain coat and had to tear it off mid-aisle. All said and done though, my last thought before waking was that I didn't care...I was going to see Jake in just a moment and be married...

Not Your Cinderella Bride

When I was 7, I could not decide which uber-girly creature to be for halloween, so I was a combination fairy-princess-bride. They all respresented beautiful, graceful women in fluffy, pretty dresses and some fashion of sparkly or sheer headwear with long flowing hair underneath. Later that year I bought my first white dress and veil for my first communion and it couldn't be long and poofy enough for me (even though I ended up in something very plain because it was the only thing that fit my husky frame).
At 12, I fell in love with the wretched drug store scent "Navy" and decided I would marry a Naval Officer, with navy blue bridesmaid dresses, and wear my signature scent. Something no one would have seen or imagined the likes of before...and it would be perfect.
At 21 I decided I had met my future husband and planned weddings for us on a regular basis...sketching details in women's studies classes of all places, refining what my favorite flower was, and again, idealizing perfection.
Now, at 30, I am engaged to get married. I love him with everything in me and am thrilled at the idea of being his wife and a member of his family. The proposal was perfectly fitting for US...he hid the ring in a pair of Ugg boots I opened Christmas morning. However, by Christmas night, I turned off my phone. I was tired of calling people and figuring out how to throw my "news" into the conversation. I was tired of their questions - which seemed ridiculous considering I had been engaged for a matter of hours (location? date? kids right away?) Wedding magazines morphed from a form of girly innocent porn to a finger waving over my head that I was behind on my to-do's before I even got started.
Talking about flowers and decor and details holds my interest for roughly 20 seconds...I know what I want and I just want it put together. I don't know how to hold my hand when people want to see my ring. I feel funny referring to my not-quite boyfriend and not-quite husband with a snooty sounding french term. The idea of tons of people, all with two eyes on me, does not make me feel royal or special...just self conscious and more than a little anxious.
Regardless of all this...that husky little girl is teaming up with my inner Martha Stewart and forcing me to run at the ideal and jump in with both feet. Then 30 year old Katie remembers what this money could do for (here's where I should say the planet, or the victims of such-and-such, but alas...) ME. The weekend couch marathon queen figures out there is a Saturday that I don't get to myself. But then we book another vendor, or discuss another song, or I just see the excitement in my (insert french snoot term)'s face, and it feels like it will be ok - plus that's what my therapist says to keep repeating....